The Social Media Dilemma
Why subjugate yourself to ridicule and hate online?
Are you old enough to remember life before the internet and social media? If so, consider yourself blessed. The world before the internet (and smart phones for that matter) seemed more enjoyable and less stressful. I recently had an experience that I would like to share with you that you might find interesting. When I was younger and starting my professional career, I used to travel for months at a time. After a long stretch of traveling, I would come home and ponder, what did I do for enjoyment before I left? I would find myself trying to remember what hobbies I had before I left on my months-long excursion for work.
I found myself in a similar situation recently where an obviously nonsensical online joke turned into a situation where the woke mob came after me on social media. Last year I adopted a “Post and Ghost” stance on social media. If you aren’t familiar with the term, it basically means I just posted on social media and didn’t read or respond to the comments. But after the woke mob came after me and tried to dox my family, I determined that wasn’t going to work any longer. After deciding to pull back from social media and to decrease my presence on social media, I found myself in a similar position from my younger days. I started thinking back to what I did before I had a smart phone, before I had social media, before it consumed my life and time.
In my post social media life, I discovered I used to love to read books. I started reading books again. As I went through the process of rediscovery, I realized how much time I was spending with my nose in my phone. I started to ponder more on this and it put me on a different path. I dropped Facebook entirely, page and profile. I made my public Instagram private and removed the followers I didn’t know and or people that I knew who were just negative in general. My life is much improved as well as my overall mood. Soon I discovered other than looking at the news via a browser and responding to text messages and phone calls, I was becoming less attached to my smart phone. I was leaving my phone in another room while I was doing other things. I noticed I was not worrying about what I was missing on social media and not being shackled to my smartphone. I was enjoying or being more productive in my life.
I really began to wonder, why was I on social media to begin with? And why was subjecting myself to hate and criticism from people I didn’t even know or cared about their opinion, and apparently who didn’t know me or my sense of humor? What was the point of that? Was it making me a better person? No. Was I helping people in any way, form or manner? No. Most people on social media are just talking at each other and not listening. Why was I going to allow someone I didn’t know and or whose opinion didn’t matter to metaphorically defecate their thoughts and opinions on me? It made no sense. It still makes no sense to me.
On the flip side of that, who am I to think anything I have to say is worth reading or responding to really? I love this video from Francis Chan. When I started writing this article, this was the first thing that popped into my mind. Don’t we create our own shrines to ourselves on social media. Invest a few minutes of your life to think about what he is saying about how strange we’ve normalized having a social media profile.
Here is a longer video on this same topic if you want to explore his perspective on the subject deeper.
In a way, I brought all this upon myself. I must question my motives for being on social media. Other than trying to promote my music as a musician and my writing as a writer, I can’t fathom any other reason for being on social media. I would like to think my music is entertaining and enjoyable to most people who like the genre of music I produce. I would like to think that my articles are helpful in providing insight and to some an alternative perspective on fringe and some culturally relevant topics. But apart from those things, it’s really about bringing attention to myself. Isn’t it?
Now most people would say they’re on social media so they can stay in touch with family and friends. The intent of social media was just that, a means of staying in touch with people. In its early days, it was much more segmented. To be on Facebook, you had to be a college student. Now, the whole world can be on Facebook! As a young adult I did get to witness the birth of the internet and social media. First, it started with bulletin boards, the internet relay chat (IRC – which I loved) and then came the world wide web after that and everything changed. Instead of just a few technological few, shortly the whole world was plugged in and communicating all over the world. I am not sure we foresaw back then what it has become now.
https://historycooperative.org/the-history-of-social-media/
Unfortunately, social media has devolved into something it was never intended. As I have often mentioned in my writings, social media has become the great divider. It has allowed us to become more tribalistic. It has spawned many social problems like divorce where old flames reconnect and cause marital issues. A host of mental health issues are exacerbated from internet and social media usage. It’s the main conduit for social contagions. Truth has diminished and trust in the news by what we refer to as click bait and fake news. All this is fueled by algorithms that feed our lust for content that drives our psyche and feed our brains’ modern addiction to dopamine that we get when we see a Like, Comment or Share on our social media. It is a far cry from developing an internet community by which people stay connected.
https://www.healthline.com/health/social-media-and-mental-health#the-cons
Well, how did we stay in touch with friends and family before the internet? We called them on the telephone or wrote them handwritten letters through the mail. We still have that capability. If the internet and social media went away tomorrow, life would go on regardless. You would find a way to stay in touch with friends and family, except the spies of silicon valley and of the government would have a much harder time to spy on us and read what we’re saying to each other.
Soon it will be possible to assert almost continuous surveillance over every citizen and maintain up-to-date complete files containing even the most personal information about the citizen. - Zbigniew K. Brzezinski [1]
Lately, I have tried to recollect more about my life before the internet. Think back to the early 2000s and try to remember your life if you are old enough. I noticed as I have moved away from social media that there is a joy found in this non-technological and or antiquated means of living. I have learned and relearned things about myself I once forgot. It is almost impossible to exist and function without an email address or a smart phone. With something that is gained by technology there is also something lost. I find if I am dependent on a piece of technology, I may be losing a skill or a part of myself that might be needed for survival.
If you aren’t old enough to remember a world pre-internet, you may want to consider what I am about to say and the forthcoming challenges. We can’t escape our technology filled world, but you can resist it. Instead of texting someone or messaging them on social media, dial their number and call them if its non-working hours. Or be a rebellious nuisance and call them anyway! I bet their reaction would be – why didn’t you just text or message me? Then again, they may appreciate the call and need to talk. You never know what that contact may mean to them. There is a lot we can determine about a person’s mental state just by hearing the sound of their voice. Don’t allow this social skill to fade with technology.
I make this challenge because of something personal that happened in my life a few years ago. A childhood friend of mine died suddenly who was a few years younger than me, and it was quite unexpected. My first reaction upon hearing this news was looking down at my phone, viewing my last text to him and thinking “I will never get to finish this conversation with him.” I got busy and the message scrolled out of view of my Inbox and never texted him back. I don’t feel guilty about it because it just happened like many other conversations that happen via text. But afterward, it did make me feel like our relationship was incomplete or ended on a strange note in some way. I can’t quite express the feeling in words. Don’t let your last communication with someone you love or care about be a text or instant message.
If you have an elderly relative or just someone who lives far away, I challenge you to either hand write or print a letter and mail it to them. See how they react to receiving it. I am willing to bet it would be the highlight of their week. I would be curious if they wrote you back. Its antiquated but for some it would mean the world. I doubt many people save meaningful and well written emails, but I guarantee you many people save hand-written letters from those they love.
Also, I challenge you to walk away from social media for a week. Just unplug and try to get away from your phone if you can. I noticed shortly after I disconnected from social media I would just randomly pick up my phone for no reason. I would be sitting down watching television or reading and I would involuntarily grab my phone and unlock it. I would stare at my phone and wonder why it was in my hand. It was like walking into a room and forgetting what you went in there to do. I wondered if this is a programmed behavior that I do without thinking. The more I thought about it, the more it freaked me out. I started to ponder if it was a social media addiction or just phone addiction in general. Why did I have this seemingly involuntary behavior to pick up and unlock my phone? What was my brain trying to tell me?
https://www.healthline.com/health/social-media-addiction
It would be good to know if you can exist or how long you can stand for your smart phone to be in another room. Can you leave it in another room? Can you stay off your phone for more than an hour? People will make the excuse like I must have it on me for work or whatever reason. That’s fine, but just put it on the other side of the room. See how long you can go without it being right beside you. I bet it will be a challenge for most.
I highly recommend watching “The Social Dilemma” documentary. It sums up much of what I am saying in this article in a more detailed and educated way. Actually, if you watch it and aren’t alarmed – welcome to the Matrix! Heaven help us all when virtual reality becomes cheap enough that everyone can participate. Cue up the movie or read the book Ready Player One.
But I return to my original question – why was I on social media? Why would I allow people that I didn’t know spew such hate into my life? Former Heavy Weight Boxing Champ Mike Tyson is quoted saying "Social media made y'all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it."
We wouldn’t allow that in real life, would we? If someone came into the room that you didn’t know and started cursing and threatening you, real life violence would be your reaction. And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? The internet, social media and all that is tied to it – is not real life. According to the Bible, real life is to be like Jesus Christ, and to die is to gain eternal life in Philippians 1:21 specifically. Loving God with all your heart, soul and spirit and loving your neighbors as yourself, that is real living. But you can’t do that with your nose stuck in your phone!
Hear my words MY friends: Social media is an artificial existence that is controlled by an artificially programmed intelligence which in reality is programming you and your behavior – and you don’t even know it unless you try to unplug. Unplug yourself and find out! I challenge you to try.
I have shared this before and will share it again. I love this speech because it speaks so much truth from the movie The Matrix.
Think about how many people are on social media. Think about all the things they do to get the world’s attention by trying to go viral. Think about all the things they do to debase themselves to become a social media influencer or just to be famous. Think how desperate people are to be seen, known, loved and understood. They try to get all that affirmation and or validation through a screen but it’s all within their grasp if they just look up at and love the people in their lives.
Now think about all people who control or use social media to sway our opinions, to get us to consume products and to get our votes. All your data you give away for FREE to them to use against you, to manipulate you and your behavior all just for the free use of the internet. You think you’re using the system, but the system is using you.
On top of that, you allow people to ridicule and debase you online who have no bearing on your real life. You waste your life staring into a digital void while people who love you are probably sitting right beside you. Why are we doing that? It makes no sense. But, I could be wrong, and that is just my perspective from the bottom end.
[1] Between Two Ages: America's Role in the Technetronic Era". Book by Zbigniew K. Brzezinski, 1970